i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
