Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
