please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
