Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize