I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
