The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
