The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
