Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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