We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My vagina is officially offended.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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