But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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