I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
