another moral hangover. fuck.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
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it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
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In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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