If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
