can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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