I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
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maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
