i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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