It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
