# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
