Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize