So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
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So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
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I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I am naked and annoyed.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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