I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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