You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
