dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
third nipple confirmed
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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