woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
