so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
