I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
