The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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