So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
