i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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