a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
