Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
