im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
