U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
