ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
