yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
