me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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