Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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