The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
there is glitter all over my balls
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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