I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
My penis needs a shock collar
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
