OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize