i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
