We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I feel like death gave me a hand job
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
