Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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