it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
