Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
