New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
