And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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