you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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