Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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