no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
