Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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