Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
