Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
