So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
