I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
