I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
