still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
