We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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