can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
