you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
