So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
