I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
