i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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