Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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